Tuesday, September 18, 2007

那次在广州。。。

受邀出席一个商家的新产品推介仪式,据说这个商家,资金雄厚,只是卖洗发水等之类的产品。
Was invited to attend a new product launch ceremony. And it seems that this manufacturer has a very strong financial background. They only sell shampoo and related stuff.

这个宴会的主题,到处都是成龙的照片,是不是搞噱头呢?At the dinner, you could see Jackie Chan's pictures everywhere. Don't you think that's a good gimmick?


坐在贵宾席,很靠近舞台,友人叫我拍一张照片留恋,没想到竟然出现这个效果,对比背后的巨型彩照,前面那个英俊的叫jack 后面那个老的叫jackie ,只是差两个字 ie,还差得蛮大的,不是长他人志气灭自己威风,当成是鼓励自己就很有意思了。As I was seated at the VIP section very near the stage, my friend made me take this picture as a memento. And little did I expect to have captured this effect. In proportion to the large poster in the background, the handsome guy in the front is called Jack, and the old guy in the back is called Jackie. Only 2 alphabets apart; i e, but there's such a big difference. Not that I'm putting myself down in comparison to him. But instead, take this as an encouragement is not a bad idea!

这个老人家,算是我们华人影坛的奇迹,横扫全世界票房的他,当年也吃过很多苦头,这个是他成功的付出,在这里称呼他老人家占他一点便宜是应该的,他也赚了我不少钱,至少,我们都是看他的电影长大的,还每一部都不错过,我知道你们现在马上会说,梁导我们也是看你的节目长大的,你也赚了我不少钱,告诉你事实吧。。。不相信?说我骗你们?哎哟,我都听到了,真的没骗你们啦,各位,不要只看我们风光的时候,幸苦的时候,你们是无法想像的咯,一言难尽,改次才说。This old man is considered a miracle in the Chinese film industry. This is also the man who has been sweeping box offices across the globe, but had also gone through tough times before. That was the price to pay for his success. Calling him an old man here isn't that bad. At the very least, he's earned quite a bit of money off me. Well, we all grew up watching his movies, in fact, without missing a single one. And I also that all of you guys out there will be saying "Director Neo, we also grew up watching your movies, you also made a lot of money off us". Let me tell you, what... Don't believe? You think I'm lying? OK, I heard it. But I'm not lying lah. Ladies and gentlemen, when times are good, all of you get to see it. But when we slog like a donkey, you guys out there won't know lor. Aiyah, tell you all about it next time.

羡慕很多人的那个老人家,大家一定要学习,他的拼搏,是用命换回来的,虽然大哥口口声声说危险动作不用替身,鬼才相信,那天就有一个他的替身出来揭发他了,可是又怎样?大哥不是浪得虚名的。Those of you who envy that old man must know something. He has gone all ways out with his life in exchange for what he has today. Although he says all his stunts are done by himself with no substitute, but who's going to believe. Just the other day, one of his stuntman came out to expose his deeds. But so what? Jackie Chan still lived up to his reputation.

现在在大陆,他从脚红到头,红得发光发紫,连洗发水也代言,还好他没掉头发,才代言得了。Right now in China, he's so popular. His popularity has shone from head to toe. He's even the spokesman for shampoo now. Fortunately he's not balding, so he can still advertise for the shampoo.

说了那么久,立体的出现了,应该说是本尊,其实我见过他,友人立刻拍照,但是距离远了,所以有些蒙蒙。After so much talk, the actual thing has appeared. I mean, the man himself. Actually, I did meet him in person, but by the time my friend managed to take his picture, he had already walked on, so the picture was blurry. 

上台之后,还跟主持人寒暄一会。。。当年我还没有拍电影之前,我就是当这种主持巨星的主持人或司仪。我曾经在IMM开幕的时候主持过成龙叔,当时在台上拍卖他的夹克,可是在台上喊了半天没有人要拿,成龙好尴尬哦,我记得他当时的表情,真同情他,新加坡人有时候就是这样修理人,不过这个是主办机构的错,这种投标是应该事先叫人家捐钱,然后在台上假假喊有人愿意捐钱,就是这样啦,之前的主办机构就是没有经验,结果害得成龙叔冷汗流得满身湿到底裤去了,最后情急之下,他干脆在台上自己贱价卖掉他的夹克,看得大家目瞪口呆。
Up on stage, he also mingled with the emcees... Long ago, before I started making movies, I was also an emcee like them. I ever hosted the opening ceremony of IMM with uncle Jackie as the guest star. At that time, we were trying to auction his jacket off on stage. But after shouting half a day, no one was interested in it. Jackie Chan was so embarrassed lor. I can still remember his expression, and I really pity him. Singaporeans ah... Sometimes really "tekan" people like that. But actually, the organizers were at fault. In this kind of auctions, they should have asked for sponsors in advance, then pretend to carry out the auction on stage, to "willing buyers". Should be like that mah. Those organizers had no experience then, causing uncle Jackie to break out in cold sweat, from head to toe, underwear also wet. Towards the end, in a fit of panic, he discounted his own jacket and sold it off, much to the astonishment of everyone.

后来主办机构都去撞墙壁赎罪。
After that incident, the organizers had to bang their heads on the wall and apologize.


这个美女站在这里其实是很危险的,因为。。。Quite dangerous for this pretty lady to stand there, because...
这个就是邀请他成为洗发水代言人的商家,也是中国的富商,是死父多钱的那种,不是一点点是死父多钱哦。。。This is the man who invited Jackie to be the spokesman for the shampoo. He's also one of China's richest tycoons. The type who had inherited a-hell-of-a-lot-of fortune. Not just some, but a-hell-of-a-lot...
成龙的任务来到现场就是和这些人拍照,总共有百多桌,六桌一照,速度还算蛮快的.Jackie Chan's mission was to appear at the function and have his pictures taken with these people. There were more than 100 tables in total. And they put 6 tables per picture, and managed to do it rather fast.
不是年轻人喜欢他,你看看照片里面的人他们的年龄,都是从小看着成龙长大的影迷。Not only young people like him. Look at the ages of those people in the photo. All of them are fans who grew up watching Jackie Chan.
就在会场,竟然碰到了新传媒的老友,那个艺人的奶爸林俊豪,还有我们的美女,王爱玲。At the dinner, I actually met an old friend from Mediacorp. The nanny of many artistes, 林俊豪 , and our very own beauty, Ong Ai Leng 王爱玲 .
你一定很好奇,这个王爱玲在那边是干什么?满面春风的。。。You must be very curious about what Ong Ai Leng was doing there. All fresh faced...
你看这个美女是坐在哪?我的位子已经很不错了,她的竟然是。。。和很重要的人坐在一起。Look at where she's sitting at? I have a very good view from my seat. She was actually sitting with very important people.

很重要的人,就是这两个人,画面很有趣,和我刚才的那张有异曲同工之妙,同样的是一个在前一个在后,前面的那个姓“陈”,后面的,哈哈哈,也是“成”,可是,前面的那个是超级有钱的人,后面的那个是拿前面那个人的钱,代言他产品的人,知道是谁了吗?The very important people refers to these two. A very interesting picture, similar to the one earlier with me in it. Again, with one in front, and one behind. The one in front has the surname Chen. While the one behind, has the surname Chan. However, the one in front is super rich, and the one behind is the guy who takes money from the one in front, and happens to be the spokesman for his product. Know who they are already?

对了,前面的就是洗发水的老板,陈总,后面的是成龙,两人的侧面都有一个吸引人的地方,成龙的像极了成龙,陈总的,像极了---吴宇森!Yep, the one in front is the boss of the shampoo company Chairman Chen, and the one behind is Jackie Chan. Both of them something distinct from their side views. Jackie Chan looks exactly like Jackie Chan. And Chairman Chen looks like... John Woo 吴宇森!/p>

老实说,这个人,其实就是吴宇森!Actually, this man is really John Woo!/p>

哈哈哈,开玩笑的啦,才不是吴宇森,是洗发水的陈总。Hahaha, joking lah, he's not John Woo lah. He's the boss of the shampoo company Chairman Chen.

这个是我们也受邀上台拍照。。。This is our turn to be invited on stage for the photograph. 近距离看到的成龙,友人技术不好不要见怪,真不自动,把成龙叔的鼻子拍得那么大!!破坏他的形象,opsss。。。听说鼻子大的人。。。A close up shot of Jackie Chan. Pls forgive my friend's amateur photography skills. To think that he made Jackie Chan's nose look so big in the picture!!! Spoil his image. Ooops... I heard people with big nose...
面子也很大。。Face value also very big one...

28 comments:

Princess Carol said...

Win already lor... You write until so loooong.....

YS Studio said...

Ya...very long but in btwn very funny for some parts...

Anonymous said...

看你的戏,
可以笑破肚皮;
连'
看你的文,
竟然可以~~~~~~~~~~~~~
笑到~~~ 流目屎 !!!

夏娃 said...

鼻子大的人面子也大??
如果是这样的话套在成龙身上倒是挺贴切的~

km80 said...

Jack Neo said: "...前面那个英俊的叫jack 后面那个老的叫jacky ,只是差一个字Y,还差得蛮大的..."

By the way, Chen Long's english name is Jackie Chan, not Jacky Chan.

U can see his official site for his english name.
http://www.jackie-chan.com/

猫猫 said...

梁导, 你还可真搞笑呢。。。

Ben said...

goodness... such a long article... hehe... good luck to the translator man!

Jason葉 said...

鼻子大的應該是......(邪惡的小孩!!)
哈哈~
不過這種大場面真的......很壯觀= ="。從來都沒看過這種場面!!呵呵~

Anonymous said...

Hi Liang dao:
Zui jin fa xian ni de blog.zhen jing cai. Ni de mei yi bu xi wo dou you kan.Wo hui yong yuan zhi chi ni.Jia you.




Aizhen

Anonymous said...

wah piang, a bit too long leh director neo. can put english version also?

Crystal Berry said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Crystal Berry said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ben said...

hahaha... director neo, you are so damn funny. i like the way you make comparisons. the "jack" and "jackie" part, only diff is " but "ie" but yet such a big diff.

the last part also very funny, nose big, face value also big. hahahaha...

anyway, thks for always telling us abt yr work in yr blog. it's so interesting. and thks to the translator who helps you as well. it must be very challenging i guess! hahaha... keep up the good work director neo, and we're looking forward to you new movie!

Anonymous said...

"slog like a donkey" I like this phrase! So funny!!! Mr Neo, you're very good with the words...

jackneo said...

hahaha,my english no good la,but my translater very good la..

RaiiN said...

Lols?
Many shampoos?
Have you ever thought of buying 1 and use?Lols!
Link Me!

Anonymous said...

For those discrimminating jack in the tag box, i wana tell u these. you are now on jack neo's blog. And its his. you guys don go around giving personal attacks in peoples blog. you should respect what he blog, its his opinion. he did say jackie is old, the fact is, is he in his 20s? no right. not that i dont like jackie, i like his stunts. if you guys think its so easy to create a movie, without planning and get a proper storyline, your movie will hit a low revenue. all directors have to take a certain risk to dare to film a movie, to dare risk with money. in the end, they get their rewards. he is a sucessful director, i respect him, as much as jackie. hope you guys will see and respect this blog more.

Anonymous said...

原来你真的有翻译再帮你哦。是公司的人还是网友啊?看得出来翻译的还不错。还留着你原写的味道。

jackneo said...

翻译之后,我还是会修饰一些,不过翻译者已经很熟悉我的风格了。

谢谢关心

Anonymous said...

不要误会,我是真的觉得这位翻译大体上把梁导的文章翻译得挺好的。应为你用了很多不一般的形容词,我自己看了半天才明白,可是,一读了英文版之后,就马上了解。说实在的,我们新加坡真的很少精通双语的。这位翻译,的确让我敬佩。

Anonymous said...

所以,网上真的是人才很多,还好有人愿意帮忙才解决了我的双语问题.

Melody said...

哈~喜歡梁導演永遠的幽默~
連一篇去大陸參加活動的報導也可以寫得如此生動~
成龍的確是努力來的~之前看過他設計工作室
的報導~看他也對很多方面都很有開發~
不敢說是很大的生意~但是他給很多創意人空間!
相信在梁家班內的大家也一樣摟 哈!
雙J~都很不錯的啦!
成龍的電影[尖峰時刻3:巴黎打通關]台灣10月出要上映了!
你呢?今年的電影~台灣有機會上映?還是純參加金馬?!?!還是都沒有勒?!?!

PS:梁導演阿~上次電影的事情解決了?
有需要幫忙在告訴我摟!

Anonymous said...

wah piang eh, super long blog siah. director neo, you good lah, you, can bother to write until so long. your translator lagi good, can manage to translate the entire thing, hahaha. ask me to read the few chinese word i drop already, can't imagine read the whole thing and translate in english, good job.

anyway, dun call jackie chan old man la, he's very respected leh, like this call him old man, "boh swee" lah...

Anonymous said...

uncle neo, i think u and uncle chan abt the same age leh, how can u call him old?

but the description hell of a l ot of money is so funny. heeheeheee. sometimes i think you have yr own kind of humour, but at times yr humour quite lame leh

Princess Carol said...

Hahaha! 笑死我了。。。 you called him Uncle Neo... Hahaha....

Anonymous said...

梁导,我觉得你还是写中文就好。翻译成英文,用字用词不当,似乎得罪了不少人哦。再说,翻译后,那个意识也不知道对不对。

Anonymous said...

the translation not using professional english (maybe purposely is it?) but at least better than all chinese. read already can die. all the words look like stuck together, and the words know me, i dunno them!

詩 said...

哇!实在长咧!
你的形容词“死父多钱”弄得我一头务水,我想了很久才知道原来是福建话“实在有钱”,笑死我了。。。

詩...